Self-love - Probably the most difficult love

"I don't feel comfortable in my skin." "Why do people stare at me like that?" "My jeans are way too tight." "My face is too round." "My skin is covered with pimples and wrinkles." "I want to be as sporty and fit as they are." "Why can't I sing as well as him?"

Raise your hand if you think one of these self-critical sentences from time to time? To be honest, we all feel this way and have these voices in our heads: they tell us how great others are and how beautiful and perfect they look in contrast to me.

Self-love ≠ Egoism

Self-love - That's totally self-centred and has a funny aftertaste! It seems presumptuous to take oneself so seriously. This is an opinion that many people have. But self-love has absolutely nothing to do with egoism. Egoists have completely different personality traits: They think mainly of themselves and are concerned with their own advantages. They take advantage of other people and give little back. Self-loving people neither place themselves above their fellow human beings in a pathologically self-centred way, nor do they suffer from self-doubt.

Instead, not only we but also our fellow human beings benefit from loving ourselves. Because if I accept and love myself, I can also accept others as they are - with their faults, weaknesses, but above all their strengths. When I love myself, it doesn't matter if my counterpart can sing better, is more athletic, has fewer wrinkles or or... Instead, I feel so comfortable in my own skin that I can enjoy the strengths of others and even rejoice with them. So self-love is about liking and accepting ourselves just as we are.

"People who love themselves do not hide their weaknesses, but try to learn from mistakes and grow from failures." (Quote: Prof. Dr. Astrid Schütz). Self-loving people instead make themselves aware that everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect.

I love myself, that's why I treat myself well

Mental self-love

What is it like when something goes wrong? When you make a mistake or react to a situation in a way you never wanted to? Do you scold yourself and feel even worse afterwards? Try this: Imagine that your best friend or child is sitting opposite you and has just made a mistake. Because you love this person, you would take him or her in your arms, comfort him or her and tell him or her that it's not a big deal. Why don't you treat yourself the same way? As often as possible, practise reacting to yourself in the same way. It doesn't always work, especially not at first, but be happy every time it does and the reproaches and bad voices in your head become less.

In order for this to work, it is best to start becoming more mindful today, so that you can recognise in time when you are automatically reeling off one of your unloving ways of dealing with yourself. And if it hasn't worked out yet again, don't start scolding yourself. Forgive yourself and be happy that you consciously noticed it and resolve to feel it earlier next time.

Physical self-love

But it is not only mentally important to treat ourselves well and be gracious to ourselves. Our bodies are also happy to be cared for and deserve to be cared for. Exercise and sport are probably the first things that come to mind. Even though getting up to go to the gym sometimes takes a lot out of us, the feeling after a successful exercise session is all the more fantastic! You feel proud of yourself and of what your body has achieved. A walk in the fresh air, for example through the forest or park, is also good for our body and can have a positive effect on our body image.

In addition to exercise and sport, love for one's own body is also expressed in nutrition and what we feed and drink to our bodies every day. Ready-made products and fast food are not known to be nutrient-rich sources and do nothing good for our bodies. Instead, cook fresh whenever possible and pay attention to the ingredients of the products you buy. Here you can find 5 more tips to help you eat healthy.

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Tips for more self-love

• Do something good for yourself: Give yourself flowers, treat yourself to a massage, give yourself the gift of a concert. Go into nature, not because you have to count your steps in sports, but because you want to enjoy nature and breathe in its scent - because you want to wander through the forest mindfully. Buy yourself a nice piece of clothing - not as a frustration purchase or because you want to please a new love - no, just for yourself, because you are worth it.
• Become aware of your own strengths and appreciate them: Far too quickly, we only see what others are good at and what their strengths are. Everyone has strengths! Be aware of what you are good at and what you are proud of!
• Accept your weaknesses: Honestly? Nobody is perfect and even the people we think are flawless and have no weaknesses have their own list of weaknesses and self-doubts.
• Celebrate yourself even if it's just a little "Gosh, you look good today!" in front of the mirror. 😊
• Don't apologise for who you are: You are unique and you are good the way you are!

• Reflect on yourself: Only those who take themselves seriously and reflect can change something about themselves. Don't close yourself off from yourself, but open your eyes and look where it hurts.
• Talk about your mistakes and weaknesses: That takes courage, but it feels so good! Because you will see that you are not alone with your mistakes and weaknesses. Finding like-minded people builds you up and strengthens your self-confidence.
• Compare yourself only with yourself and not with others: This has rarely motivated people and made them change something about themselves. Instead, comparisons demotivate and drag us down.
• Consume content that is good for you and that builds you up: If you find yourself comparing yourself to people on Instagram, avoid those accounts, remove them or take a break from Instagram.
• Recognise your own needs and go after them: Be your number one! It's nice to get together with other people or family. But you can also say "no" if you need time for yourself and don't want to be around people or the hustle and bustle!
• Keep a gratitude diary: There is at least one reason for joy every day. Write it down! Make it your routine. Whenever you don't feel good in your body and can't see the forest for the trees, take the gratitude diary and enjoy all the nice things that have happened in the last few weeks. 🙂

You are great, unique and valuable! Never forget that! <3

Image Self-love: Adobe Stock, KovtunArt, #353594746
Image Me Myself and I: Adobe Stock, Artur, #276742267
Image Heart: Adobe Stock, sewcream, #273285561
Image Self-love embrace: Adobe Stock, biscotto87, #390354484
Sources: AOK, Barmer, DAK